My Last Breath
by Heather Christi
Summary: “I only need you, Kikyo. I don’t need Kagome. I love you Kikyo.” Fairy tales are meant to be broken. Don't forget me and let me fall in my death world. I accept my fate. Accept my love.


My Last Breathe by Heather Christi  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters.  
  
ENJOY!  
  
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It all came down to this: death and betrayal. There were so many things I wanted to do in my life, but they are all going to have to be left undone and unsaid. My love for a certain hanyou was going to die along with me. My love for him remained unnoticed till the very end. I guess I do regret not telling him before, but he did want another and I didn't want my feelings to influence his.  
  
After all this time, he was searching for what he wanted and damn that line that says you don't get what you want! Damn it to hell. He got what he wanted, why didn't I? I wanted him. He wanted her, that priestess. He wanted pure demon blood. He got those both. Why couldn't I have him?  
  
I lain there in my dark blood, slaughtered. He was there with me, rocking my body against his. I suppose he was trying to hope this was just a dream and that it didn't end this way. Maybe he was just trying to ease me into death. His eyes held regret and shamefulness. My love for him was not returned.  
  
She was there too, staring down at me with hatred and having a look in her eyes that said 'I won'. I tried to ignore her but there she stayed and she brought more pain to me. For all he tried, Inuyasha could not ease me into death. It would have to be painfully.  
  
I damn the demon that brought me into the well in the first place. I damn the time we lived in that shrine with that cursed well. I damn the many times I came back, forgetting all that he did and didn't do to me. I damn the times where he hurt me. I damn all the times I forgave him. I damn him for choosing her.  
  
I damn myself for loving him.  
  
~*~ Hold onto my love  
  
You know I can't stay long ~*~  
  
I wish this wasn't real. Why does it have to end this way? Maybe I can just block out the world and just let myself leave without having these harsh moments and these painful experiences. I already feel dead inside. I felt dead since I felt my own love's claws strike me down. Why did I have to give him the jewel? Damn him for making that damn wish of his come true.  
  
~*~ All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid  
  
Can you hear me? Can you feel me in your arms? ~*~  
  
Or do you only feel her?  
  
I want to tell him everything. I want to tell him I love him. I want to tell him not to go back to her. I want to tell him to stay with me. I want to tell him not leave me alone. Oh uncaring unrequited love. Isn't it so sweet?  
  
I can feel the end coming soon. I can't feel the physical pain. The emotional pain that is inflicted on me is much stronger anyway. That's all I can feel. And the love for the one holding me now, crying.  
  
I can't feel the tears running down my faces. I can't feel my heart beating slower and slower every second. I can barely feel his arms around me. I can feel the darkness of death pull me closer, surrounding me. I feel the hate for the priestess who owns my love's heart and soul and his life.  
  
Why does it have to be this way?  
  
~*~ Holding my last breath  
  
Safe inside myself are all my thoughts of you ~*~  
  
Or am I even safe there? Are my thoughts safe there?  
  
I hold it all in. I hold my love even though I know I should tell everyone the truth of my feelings. Especially him. Till the end, I still continue to hold it in. Why can't you see it? Is your love for her blinding you from me?  
  
Death is coming for me. That 'light' is coming to take me. Do you even care as you rock me in your arms? Do you even care that life is leaving me at every second as you just sitting and rock my soon to be lifeless body?  
  
~*~ Sweet raptured light  
  
It ends here tonight ~*~  
  
You know I'm dying. I can see it in your amber eyes full of concern, but still no love is directed to me. Is it all for her? Only her?  
  
Here comes death.  
  
Do you remember last Christmas? Do you remember that night Inuyasha? I'm sure Kikyo did. Of course she did. She took you from me. The night you were supposed to be mine. Not hers...  
  
We played a famous little innocent game of hide n' go seek. I thought it was innocent. It didn't turn out that way. You were supposed to find me. Though, you only found her. The one you wanted and got.  
  
~*~ I'll miss the winter  
  
A world of fragile things ~*~  
  
Same with winter, I'm fragile and weak too. I wanted to believe I was strong and could take like you could. I looked up to you too. I believed in you but you betrayed and I lost my hope in you.  
  
I'm not there for you anymore. You don't need me anyway. You got her and remember what you said that winter.  
  
"I only need you, Kikyo. I don't need Kagome. I love you Kikyo."  
  
I prayed that you didn't mean that and I assumed you didn't so I stuck with you and I continued to find those shards for you. Why didn't you have Kikyo do it for you? You need her and you need the shards. Perfect match, wouldn't you say?  
  
~*~ Look for me in the white forest  
  
Hiding in a hollow tree (Come find me) ~*~  
  
When you found her, I was there. There I was in the hollow tree as you told her promises of you love. I know you knew I was there. It took you a while to figure it out but you did. You have those damn senses of yours and you could cheat at our little game. So when you found her, I knew you just used the game as an excuse so you could go to her. You hate games. Well, my games anyway. You loved her games that were full of trickery and mind corruption.  
  
But still, I stuck with you. What a damn fool I was.  
  
I cried out for you with my heart! But you never listened to me! Even now you can hear me calling out to you. Do you still ignore me?  
  
~*~ I know you can hear me  
  
I can taste it in your tears ~*~  
  
Death is coming closer. Do you want to save me or just let me fall? Or am I too lost in the pain and to close to death to be saved? Am I too lost?  
  
Hold onto me, Inuyasha. Don't let me go.  
  
~*~ Holding my last breath  
  
Safe inside myself are my thoughts of you~*~  
  
You know what? Inuyasha, I may be a fool but I'll still forgive you. I guess you can't control your love but damn it! Couldn't you just love me? I beg of you!  
  
I need you! Don't you know that?  
  
Death, take me away. I can't bare the pain of lying in my love's arms and not having my love returned. Take me away! Take me death and bury me into your darkened world. Forever let me lie there!  
  
~*~ Sweet raptured light  
  
It ends here tonight ~*~  
  
Can it end sooner? I love you Inuyasha! Just let my life end! I keep trying to call out to death but it can't hear me.  
  
You can hear my love, can't you? Can you feel it? Kikyo's your love and you're mine. You're my love Inuyasha. You're my sanity and you give me strength but now, I've lost you. Who do I have now?  
  
Inuyasha... why are your amber eyes not open for me? Do you not want to see me anymore?  
  
Do you really want me gone? Why?  
  
~*~ Closing your eyes to disappear  
  
You pray your dreams will leave you here ~*~  
  
This is not a dream unfortunately. Oh how I wish it could be. Your wishes might come true but mine don't. I guess I'm not as fortunate as you are.  
  
Dreams DON'T come true! FACE IT! Death on comes for you! Only death. That's all that matters. I wish this REALLY IS a dream! WAKE ME UP! I CAN'T DIE! I'M NOT DYING!  
  
Inuyasha, you can wake up. As for me, let me drown in the eternal dream of the deep darkness of death. You can wake up, why can't I?  
  
You did this to me Inuyasha but... I forgive you. Forgive me for being the fool. I forgive you. Can you forgive me?  
  
You were my sanity. Must have lost that. I lost you.  
  
~*~ But still you wake and know the truth  
  
No one's there ~*~  
  
All alone in my death. I face my death alone. Let death take me. Here it comes. It comes closer...  
  
I accept it.  
  
Last breath...  
  
~*~ Say goodbye  
  
Don't be afraid ~*~  
  
This is the last breath. I take in you and there's Kikyo with you. I see all the memories of you. Remember when I sat you for being bad? Do you remember our quest? Do you remember our friends? Do you remember our kiss and our hugs?  
  
Will you still remember me?  
  
These are only just memories. Will you forget them?  
  
Please don't forget me! Death comes closer but remember: don't forget. Don't be afraid. Face it. Coming closer and you grow farther.  
  
I don't want to leave you but I must! Last breath... Hold it in.  
  
~*~ Calling me  
  
Calling me  
  
As you fade to black ~*~  
  
I'll be with you but will you forget me? You got her. You can have me! You only need and want her. I guess I'm alone. I'm alone in my black death world.  
  
I love you....  
  
I guess it isn't always a happy ending...  
  
Mine isn't.  
  
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I know I'm not that good at angst stories but I got this idea. This song is My Last Breath by Evanescence. I do not own the song but I do have the CD! That's a step closer.  
  
Anyway, review and tell me what you thought of my story. Is it one to bring you to the brink of tears? I thought it was okay but this is just one way how the Inuyasha series could end up. It is an option but I hope it doesn't end that way. Thanks for reading. Hope you liked!  
  
-Heather Christi 


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